Talking to your child about their rights

Children are learning about their rights at school, and in lots of other places too. So they may have questions about them at home. They may ask what their rights are in certain situations – and sometimes they may express them in challenging ways or at inappropriate times. It’s important for us to support our children, and to help them understand how to balance all their rights. This page has tips for discussing children's rights at home, from young children to teens.

Jump to a section in this article

Tips for having a conversation about children's rights with your child

You may find conversations about children's rights are tricky. Your children may raise subjects that are difficult to talk about, for example, they may want to know more about children who are affected by upsetting things like war or abuse. Our page on talking to your child about current events may help with these conversations.

You may find they know more about their rights than you do – or they may think they do! So it's a good idea to read up about their rights here, so you feel better prepared.

But remember, children’s rights are about making sure that children's best interests are always taken into account – which is what you are trying to do every day as a parent anyway!

Tip #1: Listen, understand, and acknowledge your child’s views

If your child asks questions about their rights, the first thing to do is to listen to them and try and see things from their point of view. Let them know you understand how they feel, whether that's angry, frustrated, sad or anything else.

Tip #2: Explain how you're supporting their rights

You could explain that as a parent it's your job to support all their rights, and to make decisions in their best interests. You could talk to them about the things you do to support their rights, like making sure they go to school or taking them to the doctor and dentist. They may not always agree with you, but it’s good to let them know that everything you do is for their good in the long run.

Tip #3: Work together to find a solution

Try and help your child to understand that you're a team, and that you both want the best for them. For example, you could discuss who you might approach for help or support with a problem. Our page on supporting your child’s rights has links to organisations that can help you if you and your child feel their rights are not being respected.

Or you could explain why something might not be achievable, for example, because it's not age appropriate, it isn’t in their best interests in the long term, or it requires additional money.

Examples of challenging conversations about children's rights

The right to play

"I don't want to go to bed – I know it’s my right to play."

Some kids will do anything to put off bedtime! In this situation you can remind that them that yes, they do have a right to play, but they also have the right to relax and rest. And at this time of night, it’s more important to respect that right and get some sleep. You could then suggest that they play tomorrow.

"I don’t want any dinner, I want to keep on playing on my Xbox. I have a right to play!"

If this sounds familiar, let your child know that you understand they have a right to play, but they also have the right to the best possible health. This means that, as their parent, you have a responsibility to make sure they have enough to eat, and at dinner time that's the most important thing.

Respect for children's views

"All my friends have phones – why can't I have one? It's not fair! I’m missing out. You have to respect my views!"

If your child wants something that you don't believe is age appropriate for them, you can remind them that your role as a parent isn’t always about giving them exactly what they want. It's your job to keep them safe and secure, and make decisions that are better for them in the long term.

You could also point out that by making them wait until they're older for their first phone, you're also supporting their right to privacy and protecting them from harmful information.

Finally, you could ask them what you can do to help them feel more included – for example, you could suggest they invite their friends round or all go to the park together.

The right to relax and rest

Dad encouraging teen daughter over her school work

"I don't want to do my homework, my teacher sets too much. I'm off to the park to meet my friends. I have the right to relax!"

In this situation, you can agree with your child that they do indeed have the right to socialise and meet their friends. But you could then remind them that they also have a right to learn, and that homework can be part of that learning. You could suggest that they go out once they've finished their homework, or have spent a certain amount of time on it.

You could also talk to them about how they feel about homework or how they are getting on at school and whether there’s anything you can do to help. There may be other issues about learning that your child is trying to tell you by not doing homework. If they’re struggling to get their work done, you might decide together to talk to their teacher about this. Perhaps they need a bit of extra support at school. Our section on schools and education has more advice.

The right to privacy

"I don't have to tell you anything – I have a right to privacy."

Teenagers in particular may guard their privacy closely. And as they grow up, it's a good idea to give them some space, to show you trust them and respect their independence. However, if you're concerned that something is wrong, it's important to try and get to the bottom of it and help them make the best decisions. You could explain to them that although you respect their right to privacy, you also need to balance this against their right to the best possible health.

Our pages on talking and listening to your teen, helping your teen with anxiety and supporting teens with low mood and depression have more tips on talking to your teen.

Our pages on risk-taking behaviour have advice on what to do if you're worried that your teen is making reckless decisions, for example, about vaping, smoking, drinking alcohol or taking drugs.