Having a baby or babies in neonatal care is often described as being a 'rollercoaster'. On top of worrying about your baby’s health, you may worry that you won't be able to look after them. One minute you may feel sad, the next you may feel angry. Some parents may feel guilty, or scared of getting too close to their baby in case anything happens. All this is totally natural, but it can have a big impact on your mental health. However, help and support are available – you're not alone.
Talk to someone
Bottling up all these feelings won't help, so try to talk to someone you trust. This could be a friend or family member, or your midwife, doctor or a member of the neonatal team. They're all there to support you and your partner. Doing this can really help your mental health. You could also look at the information about your unit on the Scottish Perinatal Network website to find out about mental health support available there.
Organisations offering help and support
Bliss
Bliss, the charity for babies born premature or sick, has lots of support on its website, including information on to support you looking after your baby on the unit, your mental health and also financial information and support for families.
They also offer support via email and video call.
Tommy's
Tommy's, the pregnancy and baby charity, has lots of support on its website including information on premature labour and birth and mental health.
Tommy's also offers a helpline and email service offering advice and support from a team of specially trained midwives.
Twins Trust
Twins Trust, the charity for twins, triplets and more, have lots of information on their website on pregnancy and birth and parenting multiples.
They also run a free helpline for parents and carers of twins, triplets and more.
Fathers Network Scotland
The Fathers Network Scotland directory lists organisations across Scotland that offer support specifically for dads.
LGBT Health and Wellbeing
LGBT Health and Wellbeing, Scotland’s health and wellbeing charity for LGBTQ+ adults, has a helpline offering support on mental health, relationships and wellbeing.
Contact
If your baby has a health condition or disability, Contact, the charity for families with disabled children have lots of information on their website and run a free helpline and 'Listening ear' service offering emotional support.
Support from other parents
Many parents find it helps to talk to other people who've been in their position. Bliss have an online community you can join where you speak to other parents whose babies have received neonatal care. Twins Trust also have an online community for parents of twins or multiples. If you're the father or twins, triplets or more, Twins Trust also runs a peer to peer support service for dads.
Your midwife, health visitor or doctor may also be able to put you in touch with local groups.
If you are told your baby might not survive
Hearing your baby might not survive is devastating, and you may well find that you need extra support. This can be provided by a range of professionals, charities and parent support groups. Bereavement support is important for your whole family, including siblings.
Having a baby die is an incredibly traumatic and extremely lonely time but there is a lot of help available to you and your family to guide and support you during this difficult time. You can find more advice on the NHS Inform website here. Here is a list of organisations who will be with you whenever you need them.
Bliss
Providing bereavement support for you and your family.
Held In Our Hearts
Providing baby loss counselling and support.
Tommy’s
Providing baby loss information and support.

Mental Health & Wellbeing
Sleep