Looking after your family if your baby is in a neonatal unit

Family and friends will probably be happy to do something positive to support you at this time. As well as asking for help with childcare you could also ask them to get in touch with your child's nursery or school on your behalf, so their carers or teachers know what's happening and can look out for signs they may be upset.

You may want to shield your other child or children from what's going on, but children pick up on more than we think. Not knowing what's going on can be more stressful and upsetting for them than understanding the situation. 

So be as honest as you can, using simple words that your child will understand, and reassure them that their new baby brother or sister is in the best possible place to get help. 

If friends and family are also caring for your child or children it's a good idea to tell them what you've told your child, so that everyone has the same information.

You can talk to the unit staff about how often your child or children can visit your baby and how many visitors they can have at one time. 

It's a good idea to explain to your child in advance what the neonatal unit is like and what they'll need to do when they arrive (for example, washing and sanitising their hands). This will make it less daunting for them. 

Depending on their age, you could suggest that your child or children bring one of their favourite books with them, which you can then read to the baby together.

Most units have a family room where you can spend some time with your child or children, playing, reading together or chatting. Our page on helping your child deal with worries has some tips you can try together if they're anxious about the situation.